One month to go…..

On Wednesday 26th June, I will be doing the following things: 

  • waking up at 3am
  • getting an Estelle and Wonu into a heavily packed vehicle full of “stuff” we may or may not need, food that won’ be eaten and enough cider to create our own factory
  • driving out to Stonehenge in time for the sunrise and queue to get into a service station off the A303
  • sit in a queue of heavy traffic in (hopefully) hazy/early hours sunshine, moving so slow it would be quicker to walk
  • stand in a queue of backpacks, well put together trolleys of stuff and excited chatter whilst getting your raincoat/hoody/jacket/cardigan caught in the straps of your backpack and pulling your hair back so when you swing the bag off to amend said item of clothing and free your head, you take half a mile of queue out behind you
  • walk three miles to the “perfect spot” – the perfect spot being slightly appropriate to pitch a tent without fear of the following:
  • (a) flooding from the monsoon weather that is inevitable for this weekend and this weekend only
  • (b) fear of your tent being found half a mile of said spot, with your things spread across the way in a handy breadcrumbed trail due to flooding
  • (c) adequate walk from the main arenas and areas without getting lost, crushed, rained on a sufficient amount to drown, stuck in mud or die of heart failure due to the sheer amount of walking
  • (d) on a steep hill
  • (e) near toilets – but a decent enough walk to them
  • (f) next to a wild/colourful flag in which you use of a point of reference to get ‘home’ very happily without acknowledging the people camping underneath the flag until the early hours of Monday morning, when they’ve sodded off home and you, quite drunk have absolutely no idea where your tent is because you haven’t pinpointed the location because the flag has been there the whole time.
  • once pitched, excitedly make the camp as homely as possible and immediately throw away all watches. Time is not an issue here, in fact- nothing is an issue, you have now entered another dimension in which everything is “just fine” 
  • crack open a cider and relax in a camping chair with a bag of mini chedders and start to plan the day and realise with horror that it is in fact, 8am and despite achieving a lot before this hour, it is a Wednesday morning and drinking a Strongbow at this hour is just not acceptable
  • disregard everything above
  • Put away the camping chairs, despite moaning how much your legs hurt from the three mile hike with ALL YOUR STUFF, and make your way on foot around the whole of the Glastonbury site and pinpoint locations of where “you cannot wait to go there!” only to never find them again until the year or even two years after. 
  • make a mental note to drink some water around 2pm on Sunday afternoon.
  • pack a bag full of cider and cereal bars and crisps, drink all the cider and find the cereal bars, crushed and flattened around 2am on Sunday morning. Declare that a win.
  • Buy a programme and declare this your bible for the following days. This handy booklet will be your point of reference for the whole weekend, place it around your neck where it will unintentionally stay until some point on Monday when you realise the map doesn’t correspond to your own home
  • explore thoroughly and look forward to what is about to happen
  • and finally. chill the f… out… IT’S GLASTONBURY. 

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