50 inner thoughts of being home alone.

We’ve all been there…you’re home alone, alone with your thoughts and you realise that actually you might be a little crazy…

1. Ahhh the weekend, a day to fully enjoy my own company, chill out and relax! first, a lie in
2. Yeah I’m bored now.
3. DO NOT COME NEAR ME SPIDER, BAD FORM, YOU DO NOT ATTACK SOMEONE WHO ISN’T WEARING LENSES OR GLASSES BECAUSE THEY CANNOT SEE YOU, YOU EIGHT LEGGED BASTARD
4. Crap, did I just kill it? where did I launch him?
5. Why did I come to asda? what does anyone achieve in life when they come to asda?
6. I mean, I can’t even move in here, what are all these people doing here? I need one thing and it’s been 45 minutes
7. I’m having coffee… stuff this
8. Christ, having coffee alone seriously sucks
9. NO, ARGH, SHIT! DO NOT DROP THE COFFEE, DO NOT DRO- oh, phew got it.
10. I can completely ride this coffee alone thing out, independent lady, totally got this. I HAVE GOT THIS
11. Totally walked into the window thinking it was the door….
12. Leave, quick, leave. GO. GO
13. Ahhhh traffic, my favourite thing.
14. Oh wow, Rollin’ by Limp Bizkit, that is old school…. what a treat for the ears
15. Hmmm, still know the words. Still stuck in traffic. Should stop rapping expletives…
16. Wow it only took me half an hour to get home and it’s 12:30! I left the house at 10, what the hell did I do for two and a half hours?!
17. Ah well, Mad Men time!
18. What?! there is no tea in this house? I need tea, why is there no tea? I desperately need tea right NOW
19. Ugh, I cannot be bothered to go to the shop.
20. I’ll just sit here and be grumpy about lack of tea and eat these marshmallows instead.
21. I wonder if I can wear these marshmallows as glasses?
22. Oh, nope.
23. God those were sticky, I’ve sticky eyelids now.
24. Hmm, I’m bored, how long have I been watching Mad Men?
25. FOUR HOURS?! WHAT? WHAT DID I ACHIEVE IN FOUR HOURS?!
26. Ooooo Inbetweeners 2. I can spend another hour and half sat on my backside.
27. It’s called “chilling”
28. Oh good, it’s evening, I can acceptably drink wine now.
29. Why is there no wine here? What is this house? what is even the point of this house if there is no god damn wine? I need wine, NOW.
30. Ugh, I can’t be bothered to go to the shop.
31. I should eat… meh, later. Maybe then the wine will magically turn up.
32. I wonder if I can telepathically tell the shop I need wine?
33. Like a wine home delivery service…
34. I need one of those.
35. God, fine I’ll eat.
36. OH BUZZFEED
37. “Will you survive the battle of Hogwarts? take the quiz!”
38. Helllllll yeah I would.
39. Ah crap, I’m dead. How did I die? I wouldn’t have died if I was really in Hogwarts.
40. It’s not a reflection on you, it’s just a quiz…
41. Mutter mutter mutter, I’m making dinner now.
42. Britains Got Talent, this is good dinner TV…
43. Am I seriously watching a dog hypnotise someone?
44. God, this is gripping
45. How is this dog doing this? it’s a dog, how did it’s owner realise this talent?
46. I’m still watching this aren’t I? is the dog hypnotising me? am I hypnotised?
47. I need to stop watching this… I can’t stop watching this.
48. I’m done for. I’m sat on my own watching a dog hypnotise someone.
49. Maybe I don’t need the wine after all…
50. I’ve cracked.

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